Feeling down about my low sex drive
Sometimes there are times when you just feel so down about something that it’s hard to see a way out. This is one of those days for me. Well it’s been about 10 years that I’ve had a low sex drive, at the point of writing this message. My husband’s still here, but I don’t know how much longer he’ll stick around for. It’s fair to say that he’s a great guy – I believe the only guy for me. The way our lives have been, I can’t image God had any other plan than for us to be together. So it’s so harrowing for me to know that, while everything else is perfect, our sex drives don’t fit together like everything else.
It’s been a hard 10 years. I know that when your sexual appetite for your spouse is low it could be for a million reasons – anything from a lack of physical attraction, to hormonal or physical issues, to your mental state or abuse, or simply falling out of love. I’ve gone down all of these avenues, exploring each option. I’m a complex woman. My life has been so full of negatives that my marriage has been the biggest positive that God has blessed me with. So why can’t or won’t He somehow magically fix this for me and help me to save my marriage. This is one of the biggest battles of my life. The level of worthlessness that I feel as a wife with no sex drive is significant – overwhelming – sometimes feeling like the mountain that jus won’t move.
Today my husband said that if he had lower sex drive, I’d be perfect for him. I was deeply hurt because I know that he adores me, but I’m not perfect for him. I know that in reality we can never be everything to anyone – that’s God’s role, but the words hurt no less. But I also know that he hurts. The constant rejection of your spouse not wanting sex is no joke.
The truth is that sometimes I feel like I want to give up. When I look on the internet I never see any success stories, but I’m determined not to give up. My faith remains in God to work this out for me because, truth be told, I’ve tried everything else – from hypnotherapy to medication. All I have left is prayer. It’s only a miracle that can solve this one. God please do your thing – I’m desperate.
Thanks for listening. Speak soon!